Why do you spank women? What do you get out of it?
Recently, a friend asked me this respectfully and did not allow me to shrug it away. So I've tried to answer here in this entry. I retain the right to add to and change my mind on any of these answers as time goes on.
My feelings about spanking a woman are so powerful that I have difficulty finding the words to describe them. Just thinking about it makes my chest pound while my breathing gets faster, and then I feel my face getting hot. Like many other spankos have said, I have been this way ever since I can remember. I tried to ignore it and be satisfied with my relationships as they were. But the thought of spanking has always crept back in.
When I see women at the supermarket I fantasize about putting them over my knee, and I wonder if any of them are spankos, too. One time, a fellow at the checkout stand told the cashier he was going to take the woman next to him back to the hotel room, remove his belt and give her a whipping. They both laughed while the cashier looked embarrassed. I saw the woman’s face light up with excitement, and I knew they were actually going to do what he had said.
The pull of spanking has never gone away and has gotten more insistent, so I decided to quit resisting. Now I spank women who are looking for that experience.
My friend asked further questions and I've tried to answer honestly:
Do I like inflicting pain?
Yes, I do. I love seeing the flinches, squirms, and kicks. I like seeing the bottom turn red, and I like seeing the stripes, the marks, the swelling, and the bruising. I like hearing the woman squeal, yelp, and cry. Or perhaps they get angry and curse at me, which causes me to spank harder.
Do I like the power?
Yes, I love the power exchange that we negotiate ahead of time. I love holding her down as she struggles. I like hearing her asking me, then perhaps begging me to stop. (There’s always a safe word if they really need me to). To be trusted so much that I can override their protests, and administer a pain that leads to pleasure… that’s a high.
Is it sexual?
Of course, it is. Even if I don’t have sex with the woman I spank, there’s a strong sexual component and I am highly aroused. I mean, geez, I get to smack a woman’s naked ass--of course, it’s sexual. But actually having sex, like everything else, would need to be agreed upon ahead of time. Some women find spanking stimulating at the moment but others may not have that same experience, yet they crave the endorphin high, and they look for that submissive subspace that comes from the pain. I’ve found that many women want the experience of a spanking without being obligated to have sex, and they depend on my respecting that boundary.
How do you feel toward the women you spank?
You should understand that I really like women. And when we share a spanking experience, I feel enormously grateful for their trust and vulnerability. I also feel tremendous affection for and protectiveness over them. And I hope they feel those things from me.
That's all for now. There are so many contexts for spanking: Roleplaying with the emphasis on play, real discipline, the dominant/submissive dynamic, the purely sensual spanking, and other things as well, that I hope to experience and discuss.
PS: I'll show more pics in the next post.